When health phrases become a burden

“Never give up”.  “You’re nothing without your health”.  “An apple a day keeps the doctor away”.  Phrases that are supposed to encourage and motivate can become an albatross around the neck when you’re experiencing health challenges.  I hadn’t realised how much I’d internalised some of these beliefs until I recognised patterns in my thinking.

“Never give up” : The pressure to not give up – what would happen if I did give up?  I feel so awful how can I not give up?  Spoiler: I have completely given up in the past; it is still possible to recover. 

“You’re nothing without your health”: At times I literally felt like I was nothing nor had nothing when I was ill, which was not true at all.  The joy of working in occupational therapy is seeing people thrive alongside all sorts of health challenges.  You are enough by being.

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away”: But I eat well, exercise, what have I done wrong that this is where I find myself now?  My body has betrayed me!  Or as a parent you beat yourself up about all the decisions you made for your child before/after they were born or the circumstances you find your family in.  Sometimes things aren’t clearly explained, fault isn’t easily attributed nor required.

It can be really useful to sit down and consider or write down what you think about your health, body, situation and challenge ‘is this true’?  Often thoughts are based on fear and past experiences, and once you can create a little distance from them, by seeing them written on paper or speaking them out loud, you can give yourself reassurance and just feel what you feel right now.  You are allowed to feel it all: scared, hopeless, fearful, hopeful, happy, livid, sad, regretful, excited, pain, suffering, elation, joy, anger, uncertainty, guilt, curiosity, gratitude, pride, embarrassment, awe, amusement, jealousy, despondent, inspiration, resentful, lonely, supported, denial, exhaustion, despair, acceptance…